The Wins Inside the Losses

There’s something I’ve come to understand over time.

Something I didn’t see when I was younger…

but something I now know with certainty:

Some of God’s greatest wins… don’t look like wins at all.

I still remember this moment.

A gym.

A bench.

A scoreboard I didn’t want to look at.

A junior in high school—

losing the 2002 Division 2 State Championship.

I couldn’t even watch the end.

I buried my face in my hands…

because I thought we had lost everything.

We never made it back.

At the time, it felt like the end of something that was supposed to be ours.

And yet…

sitting here now…

I can see it so differently.

Because that loss?

It built something in me that winning never could.

Fast forward.

Seven years after Tessa.

Another team. Another run.

Texas Tech.

Ema’s team.

A miracle season that carried a classroom of grieving children all the way to the National Championship…

only to lose in overtime to Virginia.

And yes…

there was disappointment.

Of course there was.

Because when you give your heart to something...

you feel it.

But here’s the truth:

The run meant more than the result.

Just like it always does.

And then…this year's Ohio State Girls Division 1 & 2 State Championship Games.

Two teams: both representing our hometown Cincinnati.

Both Runner-ups.

Not the ending they dreamed of.

But look closer.

One filled with tears (I get it 🥰).

One filled with joy.

But, they’re not broken.

They’re not defeated.

They’re together.

They’re proud.

They’re celebrating something bigger than a scoreboard.

Because deep down…

they know.

Just like I know.

Just like Ema is learning.

God was there the whole time.

In the practices no one saw.

In the car rides.

In the friendships.

In the growth.

In the strength built when things didn’t go your way.

And if I’m being honest…

I’ve lived both sides of this.

Nick will never let me forget—

he won a state championship in 2002.

I did not 😄

He’s steady. Calm. Unshaken.

The kind of person who doesn’t ride every emotional wave.

(Even though I still question sometimes if he has emotions at all… 😂)

But me?

I’ve always felt everything.

Deeply.

Sometimes irrationally.

Sometimes overwhelmingly.

And maybe that’s why God chose to teach me this lesson the way He did.

Because I didn’t learn the mental side of the game until much later.

Not until college.

Not until I became a walk-on.

After being a starter my entire life.

Cheering from the sidelines.

Not playing.

Learning to love something… without being the center of it.

And strangely enough…

that’s where I found something even greater.

At Marquette University, I found sisterhood.

Under coaches Markus Roeders and Frank Pelaez, I learned what culture really means.

What leadership really looks like.

What it means to be part of something bigger than yourself.

And then…

when I transferred to University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee

we were expected to lose.

Worst team in the Horizon League.

No pressure.

No expectations.

And for the first time in my life…

I played free.

Not trying to prove anything.

Not trying to live up to anything.

Not carrying the weight of everyone else’s expectations.

And you know what happened?

I won.

I tied the winningest record in school history that season.

Not because I suddenly became better.

But because I became clear.

That’s the lesson.

That’s always the lesson.

Freedom is where growth happens.

Pressure is where fear lives.

And sometimes…

God has to remove the outcome you wanted…

to give you the mindset you actually need.

And now I watch Ema.

My #7.

Strong in ways I wasn’t at her age.

Calm in ways that amaze me.

Even when things haven’t gone the way they should.

Even when adults haven’t led the way they were supposed to.

Even when the jersey gets hung up sooner than your heart was ready for.

She still chooses light.

She still chooses strength.

She still chooses truth.

And so do we.

As a family.

Every single time.

Because we’ve learned this:

You don’t measure life by the trophies you hold.

You measure it by…

Who you become.

How you love.

What you stand for when it’s hard.

And sometimes…

the greatest victories

are the ones no one ever sees.

So today…

we celebrate the runner-ups.

We celebrate the seasons that didn’t end the way we hoped.

We celebrate the growth that only comes through disappointment.

Because those?

Those are the moments God does His best work.

And if you’re in one of those moments right now

a loss…

a setback…

a season that didn’t go your way—

please hear this:

You didn’t lose.

You’re being built.

And somewhere inside this…

there is a win waiting for you too.

Rise Up. Take Courage. And Do It.

Ezra 10:4